The Biggest Battle of My Life

Please help me continue the fight today!

My life took an unexpected turn two years ago; a difficult turn, but one that presented me with clarity for my future goals and a deep realization that each day needs to be fulfilling. The email below is an unedited account of my circumstances.

April 2, 2007
11:05am

Dear Family & Friends,

I wanted to write this email for two reasons: to update you on my situation and thank you for the endless amounts of support. The last month has become a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments, spinal taps, MRIs, phone calls and even a few tears, but I’m finally getting some answers – thank goodness!

Last Thursday, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) which is a disease of the autoimmune system. In layman’s terms, my immune system is attacking my nervous system. This attack creates lesions on the nerve coverings in the brain and spinal cord leading to the numbness I’ve had from my toes to my hips.

I am going to start a 3 day IV steroid treatment today which will hopefully alleviate the numbness and then I’m in the process of securing an appointment with one of the top MS specialist in Southern California at UCI Medical Center.

I have been thankful to learn the vast majority of patients diagnosed with MS in their early 20s go on to lead very normal lives. It does not change your life expectancy, nor do you pass it on to your children (two things that are very important to me!). Only 50% of people with MS ever need the assistance of a walking device and the majority who do were diagnosed much later in life. In a nut shell – I’m still the same old Jen!

After meeting with my doctor this week I will be choosing a course of treatment that will involve giving myself injections (much like diabetes) to try to prevent the lesions from coming back. MS is an episodic disease (my numb legs being an episode), but I have spoken to many people who go 5+ years without another episode because of the treatment. Unfortunately not a lot is known about MS, including the cause or a cure, but they have developed ways to manage it, and manage I will!

The last few weeks have included a range of emotions: uncertainty, anxiousness, fear, as well as strength and courageousness. I really look at this as one of the cards I have been dealt in life and it may suck a little, but I will not let it be more than that! Everyone has speed bumps in life and this is simply going to be mine.

I am staying very positive about the entire situation and even feel blessed that my eyes have been opened to my lack of invincibility and a realization that life is way too short and precious to spend one second of it less than happy. So as most of you know and believe, I will be “taking the bull by the horns” and fighting this disease like no other.

Lastly, I want to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for all the love, support, encouragement, positive thinking and prayers!!! Another priceless realization I have had from this experience is how loved I am…it’s really unbelievable and I get choked up even thinking about it. Seriously, the emails, phone calls, cards, late night chats, etc. have meant more than any one of you can imagine.

So please, keep the positive thoughts coming!

All my love and thanks!
Jennifer